‘Human Drivers’ is a part of a series of essays I’m doing where I rant about futurism and no one can stop me. This installment features people in the future being judgy about today, ‘How the (our) Present is Stranger than the (their) Future,’ as the subtitle goes.
The format is 95% ‘dryalog,’ not unlike the ‘Update Available‘ story I wrote about last time, but with a big splash of judgementalism.
It’s good times.
This will be going up for free on Amazon on this coming Sunday, and as is traditional, you can get notice on the day-of by joining the Book Club. In the meantime, ready for the future to pass judgement on your life? Here is a sample:
When Cars Didn’t Drive Themselves
Picture yourself sitting in a silver rocking chair, maybe wearing a spacesuit, maybe not, speaking with your adolescent grandchild…
YOU: “Back when I was younger, we had to drive ourselves everywhere. BOTH ways.”
KID: “What do you mean Grandpa, drive yourself?”
YOU: (frowning) “I mean we had to drive ourselves. Like in our cars, cars and trucks…unless you rode the bus.”
KID: “So…like you had to tell the car where to turn and whatever?”
KID: “You mean you had to tell the car what roads to take?”
YOU: “No! Quite the opposite actually, they would tell us where to go, and we’d do the driving. As long as you sprung for the pricey model with the Nav-System, but—”
KID: “Grandpa! Stop it.”
YOU: “What you don’t believe me? I’m telling you that’s how it was.”
KID: “You’re messing with me again.”
YOU: “No I’m not, the cars told us where to go and we drove there.”
KID: (skeptical) “OK, let’s assume what you’re saying is true: How would you get the wheels to even go? How would you turn the car in a new direction?”
YOU: (grinning) “Ah, yes, well…you see the cars back then, they had all these controls. Pretty great actually, there was this wheel at the front, and you could turn it right or left and the car would turn right or left…and…there were these two pedals on the floor, and you’d work them with your feet, see? (mimicking from silver rocking chair, holding out hands and feet) And you’d go like this (pressing and turning).”
YOU: (putting feet and hands back down) “…well OK, when you do it like that, in the air, yes I can see how it would seem a little ridiculous…”
– END OF SAMPLE –
It goes on from there, plus other judgy-from-the-future stories, you can get the whole essay now for just $0.99:
Canada – https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B018RFX6OQ
Or pick it up for free this coming Sunday through Thursday (as of the time-stamp on this post), leave a friendly review, etc. Join the Book Club to get an official notification, and additionally be in the loop when anything else goes up for free forever!
NEXT TIME, ON WRITING POST #6…