No. 110 – Dominion: Galaxies

My brother and sister in law were in town this past weekend, and when the four of us get together we really like playing ‘Germanic’ board games (e.g., Settlers of Catan, etc.). We ended up playing like 17 games of Dominion (plus one game of Settlers: Knights and Cities) and I have to say, whoever writes those intro stories on the instruction manuals for the Dominion games is my hero.

So hilarious.

If you don’t know what Dominion is, nothing from this point forward will make any sense.

Also you are missing out on the best non-collectable card gaming system on the market right now. They said ‘Dark Ages’ was going to be the last expansion box, but they lied because they probably like money and have continued to make more.

But we forgive them, because it’s so awesome.

If I were to make up my own expansion set… (WARNING: fan-boy fic to follow)

“Ah, the joys of global domination! Your dominion now reaches around the globe, won by your faithful armies, which marched to the very ends of the earth, only to circle around again, and then perhaps a third time for good measure, each time conquering right back up to your front door, interrupting your breakfast. ‘Again!’ you cry, and away they go. Borderless and subject only to you, the earth is your playground. But armies can only be sent around the world so many times. Eventually they too want to stay home and have breakfast.

You’ve taken to sleeping in, so the stars are out during breakfast. You frown at the sight of all those unconquered stars, then frown more deeply at the invisible force that is keeping you from reaching them…a force that has defied all your attempts to have it censored, outlawed, or executed.

But then it happens! Your inventors invent scientists, and those scientists discover new inventors, and those inventors, well, eventually, someone comes up with something called a rocket. Finally! A weapon worthy of your foe, and with it, and after hundreds of years of hyper-sleep (also invented) you find new, moderately-habitable planets to conquer. Your Intergalactic Dominion awaits!”

And few sample cards from my imaginary expansion box…(I’m too lazy to invent a full set):

Rocket Booster (action card) – Cost: 2 Treasures – Go faster! +3 cards / discard 3 cards

Silver Space Boots (action card / reaction card) – Cost: 3 Treasures – Going to space requires some style, +1 action / when you would gain a card, gain a silver instead.

Airlock (action card) – Cost: 4 Treasures – Connect with the outside, +2 actions, +1 card from your draw pile and +1 from the top 5 of your discard pile.

Credit Chip (treasure card) – Cost: 5 Treasures – Store any unspent treasure cards on this chip to be uses during any later turn (up to 10 Treasures).

Black Hole (attack card) – Cost: 5 Treasures – Suck your enemies into the past! – Make them return their five cards to the draw pile and pull their previous hand out of the discard pile. / You may also replay your last hand.

Extension (action card) – Cost: 5 Treasures – Permanently double your Credit Chip’s capacity.

Multiplier (action card) – Cost: 6 Treasures – Run up to two treasure cards through your multiplier and draw their duplicate to add to your hand.

Hyper-sleep (action card) – Cost: 7 Treasures – Play two turns immediately one after another.

Star Map (treasure) – Cost: 7 Treasures – Worth as many hands as you have played (including any extra hands played due to using Hyper-sleep).

YOU: “Ugh, TWO nerd posts in a row? This is not what I come here for.”

ME: “I know, I know…I have a life outside of eating organic food and going to see alternative medicine practitioners, OK?”

YOU: “I’m so disappointed, I don’t even know what this card-domination thing is.”

ME: “I’ll do a crunchy post next time, I promise.”

YOU: “You better…and it better be good!”

ME: “Yes, well…” (avoids eye contact)

NEXT TIME, ON THE CRUNCHY DUNGEON…

“…And then, my wife made me eat this…uh, green thing. And it was SO gross. And I was like, ‘I don’t want to eat this healthy-looking green thing.’ And my wife was, like, ‘Just eat it, it’s good for you!’…and it was such a crunchy moment for us…in our lives…”

*All images, brand names, and game concepts belong to Rio Grand Games, and are used without permission. Dominion: Galaxies is not a real game, though it could be someday, at which point I would like some kind of royalty agreement.  At least for the Airlock and Black Hole cards.

The rest you can use for free.