No. 103 – The Alternate Alternate Day Diet

If you’ve not read about the Alternate Day Diet, you should probably do that first.

We don’t do the Alternate Day Diet (ADD) anymore, got to be too painful. As effective as it was, it also kind of ruined food for you either way: I was always hungry on the day I couldn’t eat and then not hungry on the day I was allowed to. On my ‘down’ days I’d be like: “Man, I can’t wait for tomorrow…I am going to KILL myself eating!”

And then the next day I’d wake up feeling like I could wait a thousand years before needing to ever eat again.

I gave the ADD up in favor of just watching what I eat AND only eating stuff my gut biome really likes (like small, fatty animals). That seems to keep my weight where it should be…as long as I don’t go back to carbo camp I should be fine.

My wife however, recently attempted the OTHER way you can do the Alternate Day Diet, what I call the Alternate Alternate Day Diet, or AADD (though you can’t call it that in public or people will think you have some sort of attention deficit thing).

The way it works is instead of alternating days of eating at 100% and at 50% (or 25% or whatever you can stand) you just force all of your eating into an 6-8 hour period out of every 24. So you get to eat a normal amount of food every day, which is great theoretically, but you have a lot of “hungry hours” leading up to your “eating window” and then again at night before you go to bed. Most like to skip breakfast because it’s easier than skipping dinner, since your stomach is still asleep, etc.

So my wife’s trying this out, but after however many weeks or months, the only effect seems to be that it is making her super cranky because she is skipping breakfast, which was a concern I had when she first told me about this whole thing…

ME: (shoving eggs into mouth, glancing at Wife’s empty plate) “Are you going to eat anything?…”

WIFE: (sipping some sort of lemon-water) “No…I’m doing the AADD, which means skipping breakfasts.”

(children stop eating, spoons and forks frozen in mid-air)

ME: (putting fork down) “Um…really? Because you really like breakfast…”

THE CHILDREN: (muttering) “…don’t mess with breakfast…”

WIFE: “Well yes, but I’d rather eat later so that means, I– I just won’t eat breakfast.”

ME & THE CHILDREN: (frowning)

Yeah so my wife REALLY likes breakfast. So much so that once when we were traveling through Texas and struggling to find a place serving breakfast after 11:00 AM, surrounded with “Don’t Mess with Texas” signs, I ended up coining the phrase “Don’t Mess with Breakfast”. Which was super funny at the time but also kind of scary and serious…like if, say, I suggested we just get lunch instead of breakfast, because it’s like, you know, 1:00 PM in the afternoon…probably not many places are going to be serving breakfast anymore, etc., but then I get a reaction like I just suggested we sell the children in Mexico, etc., totally out of proportion.

She just loves breakfast so much.

I’m sure some folks get the AADD to work for them, but I still highly recommend the regular Alternate Day Diet for triggering the skinny gene and all that…especially if you’re a breakfast person.

NEXT WEEK, ON THE CRUNCHY DUNGEON:

Breakfast for every meal!