No. 99 – A Very Crunchy Thanksgiving

AUTHOR’S NOTE – Ideally this post would go up next week due to it’s proximity to Thanksgiving, however next Thursday also happens to be the day of our 100th post, so we have opted to cover Thanksgiving a week early.

Also we live in Canada so we celebrated Thanksgiving like a month ago.

We’ve been patient as it is.

WIFE: “We need to start talking about the turkey.”

ME: (sigh) “OK.”

WIFE: “I know we just paid for the cow.”

ME: “Yep.”

WIFE: “Kind of bad timing…”

ME: “Yes.”

WIFE: “But you had this in the budget so we’re good to get this, right?”

ME: “Oh yes, the Organic, Free-Range Turkey has its own line in the budget.”

WIFE: “Good, good…and I’ve got the pumpkin pie.”

ME: “Imported?”

WIFE: “Yes, had to bring it through customs but I made it.”

ME: “How are we for public-friendly dairy products?”

WIFE: “I picked up some ‘pasteurized-at-low-heat’ milk and cream for the guests.”

ME: “Good, good…don’t want anyone getting sucked into a lawsuit over the raw stuff.”

WIFE: “Exactly.”

ME: “So back to the turkey…”

WIFE: “What about it?”

ME: “I know it’s an investment…”

WIFE: “Yes?”

ME: “…in our health…”

WIFE: “…”

ME: “…but it’s just once a year.”

WIFE: “So?”

ME: “So maybe on just this one thing, we could save a truckload just getting a Butterba–”

WIFE: “DON’T YOU UTTER THAT WORD IN THIS HOUSE!”

ME: “But–”

WIFE: “What if the children heard you say that? What if they started to repeat it? Do you want them talking like that?”

ME: “No.”

WIFE: “Exactly. We do this for the children.”

*Mostly made up conversation, but stitched together from real conversational pieces…ergo: we could have this exact conversation at some point in the future. Or we could have already had it in a not too distant parallel universe.

 

NEXT WEEK, ON THE CRUNCHY DUNGEON:

Post Number 100!!