No. 95 – My New Grounding Pad

I knew this day was coming.

Right now, as I type this on my laptop, sitting at my desk, my forearms are literally grounded to the earth via a leathery pad that has a cord running out of it, which is then plugged into the to the ground plug in the electrical outlet (the little roundy one). I guess the pad has wires in it, or the material is conductive or something. I think this is the exact one I have, pictured minus the cord:

earthing matAlso called an ‘earthing mat’. I prefer saying ‘grounding pad’ because it sounds less hippy. Dr M sells these (in addition to protein!) and so that’s where we got ours. Here’s him giving some background info, if you don’t know what these are about:

*Side effects may include opening your eyes really wide during conversation.

Anyway, I am now grounded to the earth. Current sensations (no pun intended, wife!) are:

  • Tingling in my fingertips
  • Tingling in the soles of my feet
  • Slight sweatiness where my arms are touching this leathery pad

Seriously though…my feet are super tingly. Is this supposed to happen? Go Internet!

(searching……………..

…giving up.)

The Internet is hard.

But Wait! My wife has just wandered into my office and has decided that she wishes she was grounded also. And…now she’s muscled herself in next to me at my desk for some grounding time…it appears she is about to speak.

WIFE: “Are you feeling tingly?”

ME: “Yes. Very.”

WIFE: “Me too, but I didn’t want to say anything because I thought maybe I was imagining it.”

ME: “I’m feeling concernedly tingly.”*

*Real-time conversation typed as happening!

Seriously though…feeling dizzy…maybe getting too grounded…the yea old Internet search did turn up some folks who said doing this made them sick.

Oh wait, my wife is saying that that’s just a detox phase, and that it’s probably a good sign, just have to push though, etc. I’m not sure I like writing these posts while she is here…reading the screen as I type…making suggestions…

(now urging wife to leave me alone while I write.)

…and she is too concerned about my detox to leave.

I think we’re done here for now.

DAY TWO – Started with it first thing in the morning, bearably tingly at first…starting to feel nauseous…maybe it’s too early in the morning.

Pulling the plug.

Literally.

DAY THREE – Third time’s the charm! Plugging it in and……….weird…not making me sick but still tingly…it’s not so much in my toes and fingers anymore, more in my legs and arms…almost seems like it’s picking up where it left off in my body from the last time. Does that make sense?

Tolerable for now. I’ll leave it plugged in for as long as I can stand it.

DAY FOUR – I’ve been at my desk working for a few hours and forgot that it was even there. I guess my body has ‘discharged’ all of the over-electrons or whatever it had and is balanced out.

My Detox is over, now all I have to do is sit back and wait for the health-benefits!

DAY FIVE – Waiting for super powers to kick in…

 

NEXT WEEK, ON THE CRUNCHY DUNGEON:

Probably a disappointing lack of super powers…