No. 90 – Blood Pressure

What follows is a real conversation (edited for clarity and drama).

DR: “So you’re here because…”

ME: “I filled out the intake form.”

DR: “What?”

ME: “The fourteen page intake form…the one that has me do a three-day food study and stool inspection.”

DR: “Oh…” (discovering 14 page stack on desk, paging through) “Yes, I’m still learning the system here…” (sets it aside) “So you’re here because?…”

ME: “High blood pressure.”

DR: “Ah. Yes. What are you taking for that?”

ME: “Supplement-wise?”

DR: “Yes.”

ME: “My wife wrote it all down in the survey…”

DR: “Yes…” (eyes scanning desk but not seeing)

ME: “I’m taking magnesium and CoQ10.”

DR: “How much magnesium?”

ME: “Um…let me find out.” (texting)

DR: “What kind of CoQ10?”

ME: “…I can ask that also, hold on.” (more texting)

(sixty seconds elapse)

ME: “OK. She says I’m taking 400 milligrams of magnesium.”

DR: “How many pills?”

ME: “Two I think.”

DR: “800 milligrams! That seems like an awful lot…how are your stools?”

ME: “You know, they’ve been pretty loose lately- but wait, no I don’t take 800, I take 400.”

DR: “It actually says here that you were prescribed to be taking 800…(reading from random file). I’m surprised that with that dosage your stools aren’t affected.”

ME: “Well they kind of…but no I’m not taking 800, just 400.”

DR: “So just one pill?”

ME: “No TWO pills, 200 each.”

DR: “Twice a day?”

ME: “What?”

DR: “You take that twice a day?”

ME: “No, well, two pills but at the same time. At breakfast.”

DR: “What kind of CoQ10?”

ME: “Um…she says the ‘regular’ kind.  I don’t know what that means.”

DR: “Not Ubiquinol?”

ME: “No, I guess not…”

DR: “Ubiquinol is better.”

ME: “OK.”

DR: “But it is more expensive.”

ME: “Yes.”

DR: “So not Ubiquinol?”

ME: “No, the regular kind.”

DR: “I am really shocked with 800 milligrams that your stools aren’t affected!”

ME: “Of the CoQ10?”

DR: “No of the magnesium…”

ME: “I’m not…I don’t take 800, it’s 400, at the same time.”

DR: “Two pills of 400 in the morning.” (writing)

ME: “No!…and yes my stools are affected.”

DR: “OK! let’s take your blood pressure…”

(taking blood pressure)

DR: “…yes, your blood pressure is high.” (makes eye contact)

ME: “I know.”

*My mom recently told me over the phone that she suspects that I keep going to all these appointments just to get ideas for blog posts.

This is patently untrue.

However it is a kind of win-win arrangement: If all goes well, awesome. If I have a horrible, embarrassing, and/or torturous experience, new blog post. 🙂

 

NEXT WEEK, ON THE CRUNCHY DUNGEON:

In the middle of a zombie apocalypse, no one ever says to their buddy, “Man, I know TOO MUCH about Zombies.”