No. 79 – “Yummy” Bread

At the time of this writing, the following conversation / situation has occurred no less than five times in our nearly 13 years of marriage:

ME: (on the phone) “OK so I found the bakery section, trying to read your list, what does this say?…Sprouted Sourdough?”

WIFE: (other end of the phone): “Yes, ask them if they have it sprouted.”

ME: “OK hang on…”

ME: (to clerk) “Do you have sprouted sourdough bread?”

CLERK: “Yes we have sourdough, many kinds, right here.” (pointing)

ME: “Is this sprouted?” (pointing to a particular loaf)

CLERK: No, that bread is not sprouted”

ME: “Are any of these sprouted?”

CLERK: “No, none are sprouted”

ME: (sigh, lifting phone back to ear) “No they don’t have it.”

WIFE: “Don’t have what?”

ME: “Sprouted! They don’t have anything sprouted.”

WIFE: “No sprouted sourdough or no sprouted bread of any kind?”

ME: “I…I don’t know.”

WIFE: “Well…just get the regular sourdough.”

ME: “OK. Anything else?”

WIFE: “And get some yummy bread.”

ME: “What?”

WIFE: “Get some bread that is good, you know…yummy bread.”

ME: “I don’t know what that means…”

WIFE: “Just ask!”

ME: (to clerk) “Do you have any Yummy Bread?”

CLERK: “This bread is very good!” (putting loaf into bag)

ME: “Fine.” (back to phone) “They have some good bread, I’m getting it and coming home now.”

WIFE: “OK, sounds good!”

(15 minutes later…)

WIFE: “What kind of bread is this?”

ME: “I don’t know.”

WIFE: “You didn’t ask? Why did you get it?”

ME: “It’s yummy bread, it’s what you asked for!”

WIFE: “…well, when I mean Yummy bread, I mean like, bread that is GOOD, you know?”

ME: “I will be having some yummy beer in the basement until dinner is ready.”

WIFE: (watching me go to the basement stairs) …thanks for going to the store!…I love you!”

ME: (from downstairs) “Yeah-yeah…”

*AUTHOR’S NOTE – When asked for a more specific description of this ‘yummy bread’ for the sake of the average reader, my wife replied with the following, which I quote:

“A crusty French bread, with a soft interior that we usually get when we have guests to serve with cheese and paté.

– or –

“As opposed to a healthy, more dense bread. Yummy bread.”

Obviously.

 

NEXT WEEK, ON THE CRUNCHY DUNGEON:

NEW SERIES: BLOGS MY WIFE READS #1!!!

(very excited about this)