No. 73 – Essential Oils #2

If you’ve not already read the original Essential Oils post, you should probably do that, you can find it by clicking here.

Yes, well our Oil-Empire has expanded some since we last addressed this subject. My wife has taken to mixing her own oils into powerful potions, which has involved the acquisition of a great number of glass bottles, rollers, and droppers, in various sizes, which are now stored in the same cupboard with what was already an embarrassing amount of supplements and herbal treatments. Four shelves tower with an array of treatment possibilities that can only boggle the mind of the uninitiated.

Our kitchen looks like an apothecary.

I’m pretty sure my wife is close to opening some kind of ‘practice’. Most house guests, and by most I mean 89%, fail to leave our home without being treated and/or sent home with a regimen to follow (potentially followed by an email of links to articles and posts to read, videos to watch, as homework). Almost everyone in the world has something wrong with them, and my wife is cracking to heal.

Don’t get me wrong, I love this about my wife, and it’s probably led to a greater level of world-health and happiness, at least in our immediate vicinity.

But it’s hard to talk down the shelves…it would be better if it wasn’t so dramatic when the doors were first opened. It would also have been helpful if friends of ours hadn’t accidentally ordered way too many (400) little green glass bottles with droppers in them, some of which we bought off of them to “help them out”, and now have fleshed out our collection (as well as a portion of our attic).

We will never need to buy droppers again

Ever.

I sometimes worry that we are in violation of some sort of medical-practice laws…not that we’re getting remunerated for all of this, that’s probably where they get you. But I keep thinking of that movie where Robin Williams is some kind of pretend-clown-doctor, and has all those sick people in his house…and I think maybe goes to jail…or something. The government gets him in the end (spoiler maybe, can’t remember).

The government is scary.

Also clowns are scary, so that movie freaked me out.

 

NEXT WEEK, ON THE CRUNCHY DUNGEON:

My wife is somehow the opposite of this. I suspected for a while that she was missing some key chemical in her brain that allowed her to mark the passage of time…leading to extremely predictable life-patterns, like being unable to track with reality when it came time to leave for some function or meeting…