No one is born crunchy. You can be born into a crunchy family and be raised crunchy, but generally it’s something you have to grow into, there are stages.
If you’ve taken our ‘How Crunchy Are You’ Quiz then you’re already aware of this. A lot of folks are come out rating as ‘Totally Normal’ (what some refer to as ‘Smooth’).
Others are simply ‘Crispy’, which is to say that they’ve begun to venture down the crunchy path, but haven’t totally crossed over yet.
Others are truly ‘Crunchy,’ they’ve crossed over, for better or for worse.
And then some folks are Crazy (we all know one or two), while others are pushing the into the Criminal arena (some levels of crunchiness aren’t totally legal). If you haven’t taken the test yet, I’d highly recommend it.
But I’d like to introduce a new term if I might, one that came to me one day as my lovely wife backslid on some various point of crunchiness, I forget what exactly, but it was a regular thing I realized, just an unavoidable part of the crunchy lifestyle.
What I imagined as going ‘Soggy.’
Sogginess is when your crunchiness is abated in some way; something that you held to so strongly before, championed in your circle of influence, and spent countless hours researching, practicing, and spending around, suddenly takes a back seat to life.
Because let’s face it, being crunchy isn’t always easy. The whole world is against you it seems, and there’s always some new crunchy thing to do: sheep’s milk to churn, soured dough to kneed, dozens of home-birthed babies to wrap and carry upon your willowy vegan frame…it can be exhausting.
And then, like cereal left in the milk too long, key crunchy values can loose their starch.
At first, it’s just the day where you have failed to keep up with the wash, there aren’t any clean cloth diapers, and those 7th Generation ones that your sister-in-law gifted you without knowing any better are just sitting there on the nursery shelf.
She meant well.
But now those bleach-free temptations are calling to you. Do you makeshift a diaper from the family-cloth pile and a dozen vintage safety pins? Do you let them run free in the clothing God gave them? Or do you, just this once…
(You reach for the plastic marshmallow of ease, just to hold it in your hands, you tell yourself, to feel its softness, just for a moment).
The next thing you know, your little one is diapered, your soul compromised.
Dang things just go on so EASY…and throwing them into the trash is even easier!
“The earth is strong, it will recover…” you mutter to yourself as you take the garbage bag outside.
Sogginess strikes without warning. Holidays are a wonderful time for this. Excuses abound.
We forgive you.
NEXT WEEK, ON THE CRUNCHY DUNGEON: