No. 47 – A Salty Demise

I have had, on occasion, high blood pressure issues. And as I understand it, that makes salt not my friend. Also I don’t particularly like salt, or salty foods. Saltine crackers are gross, so are pretzels. So that kind of works out.

What doesn’t work out so much is that my wife has discovered that there are ‘good’ kinds of salts that I need to be eating. This has resulted in a sort of salt pyramid of ascending greatness of salts:

Now that I look at that, it kind of makes it look like you should be eating a lot of table salt, and not much pink salt. Don’t think of this as a food pyramid where the size is proportional to what you should be eating. Think of it more like going up a mountain to gain what is most precious, which is at the top. Also pink salt is from mountains so it makes sense to put it up there. Also I think that it is pricier as you go up each level…it works more like that.

Pricey at the top.

INFO SECTION – Sea salt is acquired by evaporating sea water, giving it a briney taste, adding a little more flavor complexity to your meals, and perhaps some helpful algae-based minerals to your diet. Obviously, with the oceans having more and more heavy metals and pollutants in them, exactly where your sea salt is coming from probably matters. But it’s better for you than simple table salt, which is sometimes fortified with a bunch of chemicals which may or may not be good for you. So sea salt over table salt.

But then there’s the pink stuff. Himalayan Pink Salt is from Pakistan.  Like table salt, it’s mined from the ground, not taken from evaporated water. But what makes Himalayan pink more interesting is the complex natural mix of ‘other minerals’ that are supposedly good for you. The pink itself comes from iron oxide (yes, pink salt is actually ‘rusty salt’).

Back to my life:

So now I’m actually required to eat salt on things, presumably so I can get those mystical Himalayan minerals into my body. I find it sprinkling its way into my eggs, my potatoes, and my mac & cheese & bacon (an epic meal if you’ve not tried it).

Yes, yes, all you salt lovers out there are thinking, “Poor, poor you, you have to eat loads of delicious salt!” as you run out the door to your nearest hippy-dippy shop to buy pink salt.

Fine! Eat your pink salt. I will happily die with low blood-pressure, thank you….though I suppose nachos are a bit salty…

I still love you Nachos.

AUTHOR’S NOTE – My blood pressure is much better, despite the forced salt-consumption.  Breathing exercises and straight up exercise mainly.

 

NEXT WEEK, ON THE CRUNCHY DUNGEON:

ME: “What are these?”

WIFE: “Just give them to Steve to give to his wife, she’ll know.”