Just a couple of weeks ago in the post on natural deodorants, I indicated that our collective future may or may not have included the introduction of an essential oil kit into our home. That post was originally crafted quite a while ago, whereas at the time of this writing, that day has come.
I should note that the introduction of essential oils into our lives represents a major shift in my wife’s world. She is a learner, and so far she has devoted a number of years to the study of food & nutrition (including various diet theories, herbs, supplementation) and to the study of homeopathy. We’re big believers in ‘food as medicine’. If you eat well you can avoid a lot of drugs that the dominant culture seems to rely on to get through life, and that if there is a health issue that pops up, that you can first attempt to heal by adjusting diet and lifestyle. And more and more doctors are recommending these kinds of diet and lifestyle changes before just writing a prescription for XYZ, which is so cool.
So that was perhaps the first major discipline of study that was brought into our home. The second was homeopathy. This is a difficult and wildly misunderstood practice, one that I think she still feels like she’s just scratching the surface of. But it’s been a major thing for us now for years, we can’t go on vacation without packing her kits and at least 3-4 reference books. These items have resulted in several airport security pat-downs.
Yes, I have been groped because of my wife’s homeopathic kit.
Seriously though, I’ve come around on the homeopathic stuff, and I think much of the world will too, when it’s time. Strong AI will explain it to us somewhere around 2040.
Anyway, essential oils were always this OTHER thing. My wife would actually block it out of her mind as she came across articles and whatnot because she didn’t want to begin thinking about it. Because if she did, she knew that she would fall into a deep dark pit of study that would change everything and that there was no going back once she started. It’s a whole other world. And I should just take a moment to say, that’s sort of a bad habit of natural stuff: always taking on the whole world. Like those people who do stuff to your feet (reflexologists?) and who think they can cure anything and everything through your feet. It’s the same with every discipline. If you just nail this one thing, everything clicks into place, la la la, same tune. Gotta be more realistic and focused, people get silver bullet fatigue.
Anyway, finally we get some essential oils. And like normal, she doesn’t go halfway. There are seriously a lot of oils in our house now, two diffusers (little things that puff an oil-water mixture into the air for your breathing pleasure), little oil balls she keeps in her purse that she makes us eat when we’re sick or might be sick or have bad breath or a headache or a bunch of other reasons, and ball-roller stick thingies that are like mini deodorant rollers.
I have already had several unfortunate oil-related experiences, rookie mistakes I guess you could say:
ME: “Ugh, I think I’m getting another headache…”
WIFE: (eyes lighting up) “Oh, hold still”
ME: (driving) “Hey watch it, what are you doing?”
WIFE: “I’m just going to roll some oil onto your neck…(checking book)…and temples.”
ME: (accepting oils)
WIFE: “Does that feel better?”
ME: “Well…I feel oily. And wait, it’s burning a bit..”
WIFE: “That’s normal. (checking book again) It should soak into your skin and then your bloodstream…”
ME: (squinting) “I think you rolled it too close to my eyes…yep, eyes are burning, we have a problem!”
WIFE: “Yikes…maybe I rolled it too close to your eyes…”
ME: (tears flowing freely) “Yes, that’s pretty much what I just said, dang, I might need to pull over…”
WIFE: “But how to does your head feel?”
ME: “OH it still hurts, but now also my skin, and my eyes, everything hurts!”
WIFE: “Hm…” (checking book)
We survived, but there is a great deal more caution employed now around the eye-area with oils. Also especially when patients are also drivers.
There was also a diffuser related episode. Apparently you’re supposed to just suspend a few drops in water and then run the thing for 15 minute intervals, with 15 minutes of it being turned off, and then back on again.
I have no idea why they don’t just make them with a built-in timer. Perhaps they do and ours is just cheap.
My wife put a lot more than a few drops in the diffuser, some kind of oil that was supposed to help the kids ‘focus’ on their homework. She then let it run at full blast for something like five hours.
I was super-focused for days. Also nauseous. Finally I found the source of my suffering puffing away like a chimney in the kitchen and turned it off. Even my wife admitted that she might have overdone it. However things were compounded when she poured the leftover oil into the sink, making it impossible for me to stand over it to do dishes (something I love) without getting violently nauseous (something I hate).
But after those few initial issues, things have evened out, and my wife is happy, no longer having the nagging feeling in the back of her mind that she was missing out on oils. Now we’re in. All the way.
Want your own kit of essential oils? DoTerra seems to be a good way to go:
NEXT WEEK, ON THE CRUNCHY DUNGEON: