After another helpful afternoon at the Chiropractor (see muscle testing post) my wife had learned all about EFT. I forget what that stands for exactly…Emotional Feeling Touching or something like that. Doesn’t matter.
What it apparently is able to do is tap into the ‘power centers’ the same way acupuncture would, minus the needles. Instead of putting needles into your skin, you tap on the spots around their body, hands, inside of the elbows, the face and temples, etc. It’s super weird to watch. Oh and while you’re doing this, it’s helpful to chant something you’re trying to affect, like “Allergies, allergies, allergies.”
It seriously looks like you’re trying to reset someone’s brain by pushing random key combinations (like ‘control-alt-delete’ for people). Apparently the trick is to do it when they’re experiencing something bad, fear of heights or a headache or whatever, and then remove the blockage through neural stimulation.
Kind of makes sense. Minus the chanting.
Also kind of annoying, to have someone tapping on your head and face when you have a headache, or whenever you don’t feel well on some level, or even when you’re feeling amazing.
Being tapped on the face is just the worst in any situation.
But apparently it really works, you can help cure people of phobias. For (made-up) example, my wife with random person:
WIFE: “Here! Hold a spider.”
WIFE (tapping on arachnophobic person’s face): SPIDER SPIDER SPIDER!
To be fair…I’m not sure that’s exactly how that would go down. But I would probably enjoy watching that happen, before having to go downtown to bail my wife out of jail.
JUDGE: “But did you touch them in any way?”
WIFE: “…well I tapped them a few times, but I hardly see how that could count as assau-…
JUDGE: “It counts…NEXT!”
Moral of the story I guess is don’t practice EFT on strangers. Or hand spiders to arachnophob’s.
Or anyone for that matter.
Just don’t touch or spider anyone and you should be fine.
NEXT WEEK, ON THE CRUNCHY DUNGEON:
One day we were at the park watching the kids play and dusk came upon us, and with dusk, the mosquitoes. My wife helpfully whips out her latest round of natural bug repellent sprays and begins heartily spraying my exposed legs.