No. 19 – The Coconut Diet: The Fattiest Diet in the World

So somehow my wife came across this book about coconut oil, and the next thing I know, I’m eating coconut three times a day. I couldn’t always taste it, but I’d be eating my dinner, like normal, and out of the corner of my eye I’d see my wife wasn’t eating, or she was eating abnormally slowly, like she’s distracted with something…and she’s staring at me…and she’s beaming like she has a secret…a coconut secret…and then I would know, I’m eating coconut.

At that point I’d make eye contact and she’d be like, “How’s your dinner?”

ME: “Good.”

WIFE: “Taste OK?”

ME: Yeah.

WIFE:“Taste anyth–”

ME: “There’s coconut in here, isn’t there?”

WIFE: “Yes.” (beaming)

ME: “…”

WIFE: “It’s good isn’t it?!”

ME: “Hm” (noncommittal sound)

That’s pretty much how things were for a while, pancakes, cookies, tea, milk on my cereal, stir-fried vegetables, fish…pretty much anything that was cooked in any way had some form of coconut baked in, poured on, or otherwise inserted. In fact I’m pretty sure things are still like this but I’ve just gotten used to it and she’s stopped tipping me off with all the beaming. She knows I can’t taste it, unless she wants me to be able to taste it, in which case it usually adds to the experience of the food.

We’ve got shredded coconut, powdered coconut, and TWO forms of coconut oil in the house…probably other stuff too, stuff I don’t even know about it. I’m eating coconut, using coconut on wounds, rubbing it on my wife’s shoulders, it’s everywhere.

And, apparently, it’s good for us. Or so says this book: The Coconut Oil Miracle

Now I have not read this book, both because my wife has already read it and we’re married and so that means I get passages read to me out of the book all of the time, as I’m in the bathroom, as I’m trying to sleep, as I’m trying to enjoy my chocolate coconut cookie, etc., and because I refuse to allow coconut to invade the books I read. That’s my one sanctuary from coconut.  I’ll write about it, but I’m not reading that book.

Plus I think we loaned it to someone and then moved to Canada before getting it back.

My understanding of it is this (and the fact that I haven’t read it is handy because I can’t ruin the book for you): Most oils are not cookable, including olive oil. Apparently cooking olive oil makes it carcinogenic, which is the last thing any of us need. I guess the rule is, if it’s liquid at room temperature, don’t heat it up any more and then eat it. If it is solid at room temperature (i.e., coconut oil or butter) then you’re good to apply some heat.

And you can do all kinds of cool things with coconut oil, like put it on acne (which seems counter intuitive, to oil your acne, but it works). It’s also supposed to help boost your immunity and help you lose weight (yes, a fat that will make you less fat).

But maybe you hate coconut? Yeah, I did too, but then they have a coconut oil that doesn’t taste like coconut, and the coconut milk you can mix into things and it doesn’t do much to the taste.

And again, you get used to it.

But don’t take my ill-informed word for it, this is a book you want to get and read for yourself.

 

NEXT WEEK, ON THE CRUNCHY DUNGEON:

Recently our Chiropractor told us about muscle testing. And by ‘told us’ I mean my wife read about it on the Internet and pumped him for information, which is pretty much how every chiropractic appointment goes now…